Anxiety and Worries When Women Date

Women always worry about dating online and offline and being associated with the pursuit of a new relationship whether she will admit it or not. Anxiety can be legitimate and extreme indicating the need for vigilance and discretion. On the other hand, fears can be unwarranted and impede an otherwise promising relationship. Do you,as a woman, have any hesitations and worries? It might be helpful to know some of the most common dating fears among women. Here are some of the most prevalent ones.

1) A woman is afraid she’s not beautiful or sexy enough,as most do. You can chalk this one up to the media and the constant flow of magazines and TV and newspaper articles. She has been bombarded since day 1 about her looks and society is obsessed with airbrushed, flawless beauty. Women today feel profound pressure to possess the allure of a celebrity, the figure of a supermodel, and the latest clothes form fashion designers. The fear of not measuring up to societal standards — even though those standards are absurdly unrealistic — can breed intense insecurity, jealousy, and low self-esteem. Unfortunately it’s the culture we live in.

This fear even comes with several bothersome byproducts: a) Suspicions that her man is checking out every good-looking gal who walks by. b) He is going to leave her for someone more eye-catching, feeling threatened by other attractive women. c) The ever present dread of the aging process. More mirrors anyone?

2) She is concerned her new man is going to turn out just like her ex husband or boyfriend. This may not be fair, but it happens often enough: Women worry that history is going to repeat itself. Different guy, same results. In a perfect utopia, none of us would have to deal with the baggage left behind by previous partners. Unfortunately, the world, especially the dating world, is far from perfect and is a fantasy land unto itself. Thankfully, many women have the emotional intelligence to find healthy ways to deal with lingering hurts so that emotional baggage does not permanently drag down new relationships.

3) She will be afraid her new partner isn’t what he seems to be. One of the nice things about dating is that, especially in the early stages, we put our best foot forward, after all 1st impressions are tantamount to continuing the relationship. Thus, a common fear among women is this: “Everything seems fine now, but after the first blush of romance has faded, who will this person be then? Beyond the smooth and polished exterior, who is the guy deep down? Will the kind, considerate man of the early courtship stage turn self-absorbed and critical a year from now?” Will I still be his equal?

It’s true that many men are a lot like politicians, who make grand promises to get elected and then ignore them once in office. But most guys have no interest in playing the fake-and-phony game; they at least try to be genuine and upfront. Some of all this can be attributed to a small dose of perhaps paranoia.

4) She’s worried she’ll compromise and settle for the wrong guy. Hey,it happens both ways doesn’t it? It’s happened to her friends. It may have already happened to her. Rather than holding out for Mr. Right, she settled for Mr. Mediocre, or even Mr. Flat-out Wrong For You. No one, of course, sets out to compromise in this way, but it happens frequently. Why? Because there’s a large percentage of singles who have the attitude that says, “I just want to get married, and once I’ve got my spouse, then we’ll work things out.” If this attitude persists then the odds just swung against you. Feeling lonely, pressured, and worried they’ll never marry, many singles are so intent on getting to “I do” that they start lowering their standards.

5) Beware the “C” word as is commitment. She’s afraid her boyfriend will want to date forever. Women are afraid of men with a wandering eye and who are afraid of commitment. After all, men as a whole have a reputation of being commitment-phobic. But as with most stereotypes, it’s unfair and unwise to lump everyone together. Sure, there are plenty of guys who drag their feet and panic at the thought of being “tied down.” But there are many more guys who will happily and eagerly commit to the right woman. In fact, USA Today recently featured a nationwide survey that included 12,000 men and women ages 15-44 and asked the question, “Is it better to get married than go through life single?” The results: 66 percent of men agreed compared with 51 percent of women. What’s more, 76 percent of men and 72 percent of women agreed “it is more important for a man to spend a lot of time with his family than be successful at his career.”

It helps for women to leave the denial stage. Do any of these fears resonate with you? Identifying your source of your anxiety is the first step in determining if they are justified or not. Then you can view your worries as either helpful allies or a waste of energy that could be channeled in more productive ways.