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Marriage and Dating

By rlhutton On November 13, 2009 Under Senior Marriage and Dating

Are you stressed out even thinking about marriage and dating? With divorce rates over forty-five percent it is a wonder more people are not truly jaded against the entire concept of dating and marriage. After all, who wants heartbreak and turmoil? All hope is not lost though. There are trends emerging that make the idea of venturing into a relationship a bit more optimistic.

What about people at work? One of the more recent trends seems to be focused around the workplace. It seems that more people are focusing on their careers in their twenty’s and waiting until their thirties to enter into marriage. The great bonus to this is that most individuals, by this point in their lives, are stable and have a general sense of self awareness. They know their strong points and weaknesses as well as exactly what they want in a future mate.

With nuptials taking a backseat to a career while job hunting,, it means that less people are getting married right out of high school ( thank goodness for that). Yes there are still people getting into serious relationships while still young, but many are still seeking out an education and help in making their relationships work. This is largely due to awareness that professional help is only a click away on the internet, a quick phone call to the local counseling center or even a trip to the bookstore. There has been a huge surge in the amount of self-help books dealing with partners in the last five years.

Dating and marriage has kept up with the times. Websites specializing in romantic relationships such as Eharmony.com, Match.com and others, help bring more people together and match them up with people who have traits that they like. The idea of narrowing down the dating field is a tremendous help to those who lead busy lives and perhaps do not have the time to invest in meeting someone in real time only to find out that there are some fundamental differences that would make even dating impossible.

Love has proven time and time again to prevail against all odds. so can love be really blind after all? Even though humanity is changing, the fundamentals remain the same. It takes time, effort, consistency, understanding and devotion to make things work out between two individuals. Honesty is also a very important factor. This also includes self-honesty. If a person knows that they have no possible future with their date…it is best to be upfront and let that person know.

Many people are choosing to date more than one person at a time in order to increase their chances of finding “the one” for them. Relationship experts and etiquette professionals, such as Miss Manners, believe that this is perfectly acceptable as long as the person makes the dates aware that they are not exclusive. This does not have to be a conversation that takes place in the first few dates but it does need to be addressed before any seriousness begins to occur on either sides. The point is to have fun and enjoy life otherwise there would not be much joy to finding that special someone.

Don’t be overcome by the thought of marriage and dating.. Nothing tried nothing gained

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One comment - add yours
donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC

November 13, 2009

As a psychotherapist who works with life transitions, I offer these tips to help insure older daters have success at internet dating.
Baby Boomers have different goals and needs than the younger folks using dating sites because they are in a different life stage. Understanding these differences can make your experience of midlife dating more enjoyable.
1. Boomers have had prior love relationships—usually at least one marriage. This changes both perception and expectation.
2. Boomers have built a life and are looking for someone with whom they can share it.
3. Rather than being “upwardly mobile,” Boomers usually are enjoying the fruits of their youth.
4. Boomers have developed strong belief systems—what they value, what they believe and who they vote for.
5.Boomers are looking for someone to share the hard times as well as the fun times. They know that life is short, people get sick and die, pensions can disappear and the unexpected happens.
By taking sometime to explore what kind of relationship they REALLY want at this stage in life, Baby Boomers are less likely to set themselves up for disappointment.
Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC
Author “Profileactics: A Guide for the Prevention of Ill-Conceived Personal Ads

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